Driving Miss Crazy

It's been slowly dawning on me that I am becoming the person on the road that I used to hate when I was working and always in a hurry.  Those other drivers that are wildly waving their arms at me are not being friendly, no sir, they are evidently signaling for me to get the hell out of the way.  Ah yes, I remember doing that to people.

I feel bad now for the old lady who waited in a cold and snowy parking lot for me to come out of Econo Foods one day because the front end of my car was too close to the back end of hers, and she couldn't open her trunk to load up the groceries.  Being in a hurry at the time, I said, "Well, geez, didn't you think about getting in your car and pulling up a little?!" and I drove off in a huff.

The other day as I was meandering around the back roads of South Carolina with nothing but time on my hands, I came to an intersection and, of course, stopped for the red light.  It seemed like a very long red light and the line of cars behind me was so long I couldn't see the end of it.  It crossed my mind that the light could be malfunctioning, but I wanted to make a left turn and there was no possible way to see if there was anything coming from the right.  So I settled in and waited…and waited.  There were a few people honking behind me, but I'm thinking, look, you can honk all day, but the light is red and I'm waiting.  I checked my email, found a better radio station, filed my nails….and still the light was red.  I cleaned out my purse, dusted off the dash and polished the mirrors….still red.  By then the guy behind me was having a coronary trying to make his horn louder by pounding on it, but I thought, you can blow that horn up your ass….THE LIGHT IS RED!!!!!!!!  As I was watching a video on YouTube, I hear a knock on my window and see a red-faced man yelling something at me.  I slowly roll down the window…."What?" I said.  "You need to pull up to the sensor.  There's a goddam sensor!!!"

Oh….a sensor.  I pulled up.  Sure enough….a sensor.  Never heard of such a thing.  Well, the rest of the world is just going to have to chill.  I've got all the time in the world.