MOP YOUR WAY TO FREEDOM?!

I was in Shopko on the first Wednesday of August, and I mention this because I only just recently learned that the first Wednesday of every month is Senior Citizen Discount Day.  Since I don't consider myself a Senior Citizen, I didn't think their ads announcing the Wednesday thing applied to me.  But it turns out that, according to Shopko, I've been a Senior Citizen for 7 years!  So it kind of irks me to think of all the money I squandered shopping on Tuesdays and Thursdays, not to mention Saturdays, for pete's sake! 

I also discovered that Econo Foods offers a senior discount every Wednesday.  This I learned when the check-out girl, who couldn't have been older than 12, said, "Do you qualify for the senior discount?"  I said I probably did since I did at Shopko, and I told her my age.  "Wow, I didn't think you were THAT old!" she said, as she applied an apple sticker to my More card so I won't have to announce my age every time I buy groceries.

That's how the first Wednesday of the month became my shopping day. 

So, as I said, I was in Shopko on Wednesday and something called a "Freedom Mop" caught my eye.  Logic would preclude putting the words "freedom" and "mop" in the same sentence, so I was intrigued.  Here's what it said:

"Freedom from disposable pads!"  Right away I knew this was a brainchild of a brainless man.  For women, "pads," and particularly "disposable pads," means something altogether unrelated to mopping.

"Free to choose your cleaning solution!"  I guess so, but I fail to see how this mop would offer more freedom to choose my cleaning solution than would any other mop.

"Freedom from batteries!"  Well, thank god, because I hate having to replace the batteries in all my other mops.

I may be old, but I know what freedom feels like, and mopping won't get you there.