MOP YOUR WAY TO FREEDOM?!

I was in Shopko on the first Wednesday of August, and I mention this because I only just recently learned that the first Wednesday of every month is Senior Citizen Discount Day.  Since I don't consider myself a Senior Citizen, I didn't think their ads announcing the Wednesday thing applied to me.  But it turns out that, according to Shopko, I've been a Senior Citizen for 7 years!  So it kind of irks me to think of all the money I squandered shopping on Tuesdays and Thursdays, not to mention Saturdays, for pete's sake! 

I also discovered that Econo Foods offers a senior discount every Wednesday.  This I learned when the check-out girl, who couldn't have been older than 12, said, "Do you qualify for the senior discount?"  I said I probably did since I did at Shopko, and I told her my age.  "Wow, I didn't think you were THAT old!" she said, as she applied an apple sticker to my More card so I won't have to announce my age every time I buy groceries.

That's how the first Wednesday of the month became my shopping day. 

So, as I said, I was in Shopko on Wednesday and something called a "Freedom Mop" caught my eye.  Logic would preclude putting the words "freedom" and "mop" in the same sentence, so I was intrigued.  Here's what it said:

"Freedom from disposable pads!"  Right away I knew this was a brainchild of a brainless man.  For women, "pads," and particularly "disposable pads," means something altogether unrelated to mopping.

"Free to choose your cleaning solution!"  I guess so, but I fail to see how this mop would offer more freedom to choose my cleaning solution than would any other mop.

"Freedom from batteries!"  Well, thank god, because I hate having to replace the batteries in all my other mops.

I may be old, but I know what freedom feels like, and mopping won't get you there.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

I've been retired from my life in public schools for almost a year now. One night at dinner, Handy asked me the above question, and I thought, What?!  You mean I have to DO something?!!  Of course, he has no idea what I do all day and naturally thinks I sit on my butt watching TV 24/7.  I'm not afraid to admit that I asked myself that question for the first 15 minutes of my retirement.  And then I just started doing exactly what I felt like doing....all the time!  I feel pretty good about what I've accomplished during this first year of retirement.  I spent loads of time with my kids and grandkids, which is always number one on my list. I cleaned and organized my entire house.  I found things I've been looking for for 15 years and things I didn't even know I had.  I hauled everything out of the attic and went through it box by box, pitching everything we don't need.  I worked on the yard!  I pulled weeds!  I watered plants!  I lunched with friends instead of 500 kids!  I shopped in the middle of the day!  I slept in!  I cooked!  It's been a grand and glorious year. 

The answer to Handy's question?  "Whatever I want!"

Now excuse me while I go watch me some TV.